Keep Your Eyes Peeled

I think I'm going to be sick, today I discovered the most controversial and socially wrong hijinx to taint the very surface of this Earth if not the whole universe.

Probably...

Remember the childhood classic film "Muppets In Space"? Of course you do, it was pretty ossum. Today I came to the horrible horrible realization, at no point in "Muppets in Space" did the Muppets actually go into space, let me give you a second to digest that. Sure there was a plot based loosely around aliens and part of the film was inside a missile base. All of these and Hulk Hogan were simply used to mask the fact that at no point did any of the muppets even come close to passing through the Earth's atmosphere. It's seriously the biggest atrocity to scar the face of this once beautiful Earth
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I also got told something incredibly awesome, if you're on a Windows computer open up C:/Windows/Media/onestop.MIDI
It's so fucking awesome.

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In order to fund this writer's tremendous drug habit, I regret to inform you that this blog will now be supporting banner advertisements as a final measure to keep a certain someone from giving head for crack behind dumpsters.

Edit: The film was actually called muppets FROM space, major fuckup on my part.

When I Get To The Green Building

"Hokay I'm promesing hyou i am bak to blogging and whill be rieting moar blawgs in the naer futur"
-Never ever me ever.

But seriously everyone, just up and left, came back a month or two later saying the above and left again. C'mon guys, up the game. On an unrelated note I come with a new post so awesomely wordsmithed together that Zeus himself would be all like "That's pretty cool I guess". This suave ball of eloquent words will literally fuck your eyes and figuratively jizz on your sense of amazement.

Over time I've been compiling a list of things to do before I die, hopefully in doing all of these things I will encapsulate what it is to be alive. Enclosed below is a list of things I'd recommend you do before you die so you can truly live, achieve a more fulfilling sex life and find the secret of the Jade Monkey Dragon.

1. Replace all payphones in an area with strings attached to cups and string them all together.

2. Rent out an SUV and abuse hybrid owners for polluting the earth.

3. Start a 3 way call with two sex lines, remain silent and listen to the results.

4. Break a large group of people into spontaneous musical esque song.

5. Simply put, start a bible fight.

6. Order 16 pizzas cut in 6 slices (This will be important for later), obtain a stretch hummer and begin to drive to Victoria, upon the way you will meet up with Frankie, he will have the blue key- ____________________________________________________________________________________

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The above post was a textbook example of a dissapointing comeback from an unessecarily long hiatus, aka 80's rock star syndrome.